This post contains affiliate links. Questions? Check out my disclosure page.
What is Bumble?
Bumble is a dating app, similar to Tinder. You make a profile, add some pictures and start swiping. Swiping leads to matches. Once you match with someone you have 24 hours to message them. The catch with Bumble is that the girl has to reach out first. After a few days on Tinder I really liked this feature, at first anyway. I felt like it put me in control a little bit more. Now I think maybe that its an excuse for guys to be a little bit lazy.
I don’t want to sound lazy, but I made my mile radius pretty small. I had talked briefly to a few guys on Match.com that seemed really nice, but the thought of a half hour plus drive to go to their house, or even further to go on a date was such a turn off. I even turned down going to a Phillies game with a very good looking pediatrician because he lived in Philly. I LOVE going to Phillies games. Something about baseball, something about sitting in the stadium just feels good. It’s one of my happy places, even when my team is doing terribly… so turning down that date was a big deal.
What is it with engineers that they are all over dating apps? No? Just me? I feel like in the 10 mile radius that I have set on both Bumble and Tinder, half the guys I match with are engineers. Maybe its just an easy profession to lie about, or stretch the truth with because there are so many different variations.
It’s like telling someone you are a nurse. There are so many various, which makes it easy to not necessarily lie, but stretch the truth.
The appeal of his profile… a cute smile, a good job, a kid, and farmer. Not to much other information so I pictured a truck driving, country music listening too, farm boy, who doesn’t actually want to be a farm boy so he works as an engineer somewhere, and loves his kid. Perfect for me right? Not even close, but fun for a few dates. Someone to let me channel my more outdoor get dirty side.
We chatted back and forth a little bit, but me being my inpatient self took control and asked him to meet me out on a random weeknight. We both happened to not have our kids, and I was on my way to meet my sister but had extra time, so I told him I would be at a bar close to her place if he wanted to meet up. This bar was way out of the way for him but has my favorite chicken fingers, so I decided I didn’t care. I figured if he thought I was worth meeting he would come a few minutes further then really made any sense.
I sat down at the bar, ordered, and didn’t care if he showed up. While I waited to see if he would show, I actually struck up a conversation with the girl that took the seat I was semi saving for him. Her friend sat down next to her and we chatted and complained about men for a good 20 minutes before they went outside for a smoke break.
He showed. Sat down, made fun of my chicken fingers and ordered a beer. We talked about school, farming, and a bunch of other random things. Discovered that he knew my ex from high school (awkward) and that I went to high school with is ex, and she’s friends with my cousin (super awkward).
Pretty normal so far right? We live close to each other in a small area so it shouldn’t be surprising that we have mutual people in common. The meeting itself… because it certainly wasn’t a date… just ok I guess. He was very nice. Easily distracted by what was on TV. Got side tracked into several different conversations. But didn’t mind that I interrupted things to go give a friend I haven’t seen in awhile a big hug (happens to be a good looking friendly guy who I totally had a crush on in college). Then he asks the bartender, what type of beer the green beer was… Bud Light... does it taste different? The bartender gives him a look and asks him if he wanted one.
So he orders a a green Bud light… The answer, it tastes like bud light. Something about that was just odd… Like didn’t you go to college? Didn’t you ever drink cheap beer on St. Patrick’s Day?
A First Kiss
Online dating has lead to a few first kisses…. None of them have been earth chattering. Some have certainly been awful… a tip… don’t lick a girls face that you just met. It’s not sexy! And it does not lead to a second date.
The kiss that night was different. Not because it was particularly good, is any first kiss really good? No they are awkward. You don’t know each others style yet. Even if you are confident you still get a little nervous. So why was this bad first kiss better than the rest? He made me smile first. How? After offering to walk me to my car, he asked if he could kiss me in this awkward I’m probably going to no matter what you say way. Something about the way he asked made me smile so I said yes. The kiss itself… Well you are going to have to wait for the juicy details on that… eBook coming soon.
He didn’t end up being the truck driving country music listening too engineer farmer I had pictured. As it turns out, he drives a Jeep and a half dozen other vehicles that don’t run on any given day. But he can fix them himself, which is oddly sexy. He listens to the same 10 songs we listened too in high school. Loves his kid, and is going through some of the same post divorce issues as I am. Not what I was expecting, but someone worth going on a few dates with to see how things go. Staying in my comfort zone has lead to my life being flipped upside down. So maybe dating outside my comfort zone will put at least my love life back on track.
What does the future hold? I can tell you if I knew that I wouldn’t be blog writing, I would be telling people the future and be making very good money while spending my free time playing with my ponies. I can tell you he is the only bumble date I went on. The more guys I talked to on it, the more I started to dislike that I had to reach out first. Dating has changed, but I think that we need to keep some part of the old fashioned part of dating alive. A women responds so much better if the man puts forth the effort first. Ok maybe that’s just me, but it feels good to be wanted, to be listened too, and when we feel good, we will do anything to make our men feel good too. It’s that whole give and take thing that keeps relationships going.
What I can tell you is those chicken fingers and a cold beer was just what I needed that night. My view of a fun hillbilly country style summer didn’t really get there, but I still went on some great adventures. Despite some emotional and financial challenges I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Especially that first kiss.