My First Date Post Divorce
This post contains affiliate links. Please visit my disclosures page if you have any questions.
I 100% thought I was too good for online dating. Match.com, Tinder, Farmers Only. Like really? How desperate are those people? This was the start of a conversation I had with one of the girls at work one day. She listened, made some faces, and then pointed out that I met my now ex-husband in a bar, the “traditional way”. Huh. I argued with her that online dating still wasn’t for me. I was going to meet someone the traditional way, out doing the things I like to do. She then asked me for a quick summary of my week (all this while she is typing away on the computer).
My Week in a Nutshell
Sundays pretty much consist of time at the barn when the weather is nice, and dinner at my parents house. All this spent with my daughter on my weekends with her.
Mondays work on the farm including riding, mowing, repairing what needs fixing, cleaning up around the house, maybe some time with friends. Work online.
Tuesdays work at the office. Work some online at home. Barn chores. Time with my daughter.
Wednesdays more of the same.
Thursdays more of the same
Fridays more of the same. Horse show weekends mean a late night in the barn.
Saturdays are for time with my daughter, horse shows in nice weather.
Mix more time with family and friends in there and my whole week is filled up.
If I spend my free time at the barn, which is on my property, and I know everyone who comes and goes, and those people are 99% female, taken, and not dating material, that’s 100% not going to work. Time spent with family won’t get me anywhere, I’m adopted, so technically my daughter is my only blood relative, but it would still be weird if I married one of my cousins. And work… nope not dating my boss or any of my patients.
She Was Right
I do not admit this easily. But she was right. I sulked back to my office, stared at my phone, walked back up front and declared that I would start dating online, however I drew the line at Tinder.
She knew she was right, so while I was having my revelation, she was working on my Match.com profile.
For anyone reading this that has not participated in online dating, let me give you a quick summary of how it works. No matter what site you end up using they all pretty much work the same. You create a profile filled with information about yourself. How old you are. What you do for a living. What you do for fun. Hobbies, favorite food, favorite vacation spots. Add a few emojis and a bad joke or pick up line along with your best 5 photos and you are ready to go! Click, swipe, match. It all happens so fast.
My First Date
It didn’t take me long to start getting emails on Match. Some guys I looked at their profiles and politely declined. Some I couldn’t get past their profile pictures, and some I had to forward along to friends because I couldn’t believe that these people were real.
Eventually I got matched with a cute engineer from not to far away. We both have a daughter and a large family, both outdoorsy people, both smart, and he didn’t waste a tone of time emailing back before he asked me out to dinner.
His restaurant choice was perfect. Somewhere I had never been, between both of our houses that got great reviews. I got excited!
Me, being my typical crazy horse person self, had to text and tell him I was going to be late, but he was ok with it, and waited outside for me. Held the door open, had a reservation, let me sit down first, asked what kind of wine I thought I wanted. So far, awesome.
Then things started to go downhill. He ordered me a nice glass of wine, but then got a Coors light for himself. Why is this a problem? Because you don’t order a crappy beer at a nice steak restaurant. We chatted about work, and what type of engineering he does (something about bridges? To be honest engineering confuses me, they are like nurses, there are just way to many different kinds and levels). He asked me great questions about work. Showed me an appropriate amount of pictures of his daughter, but then started talking about how he can’t wait to find her a new mom (even though he was divorced not a widower). Ok… maybe he’s nervous. I can let that slide.
There were some silent points during dinner, but the food was great! If you are local I highly recommend Brandywine Prime. Excellent food, but go with someone who will share a bottle of wine with you, not a crappy beer.
How the Engineer Got His Nick Name
The check comes, he takes it, and I offer to split, and he declines, ok gaining points again. Pulls out his wallet and there is a Mickey Mouse sticker on it. I point it out and ask if his daughter gave him that. You should see my laptop, its covered in Disney princess stickers that my daughter put there, I love it.
His eyes light up with this question and he says “No! Did you know, at the park, there is a specific part, with a specific Mickey that gives out stickers?!” Huh… He went into way more detail about Disney and his most recent trip there. A vacation he took without his daughter. He then told me he had a great time and wanted to go out for water ice sometime. The whole date lasted about an hour and a half.
I got back in my car, which he nicely walked me too, said goodnight and left. It was 8:30pm. So, all dressed up in my dating best, heals, and makeup, I went grocery shopping.
The drive to the store was full of emotion. I laughed at myself mostly. Called a friend who asked if I was ok before I even said “Hi” because she knew I had been out on a date. I skipped the bad details and asked is this dating? Is this what I am in for? Because I don’t think I can go on bad date after bad date just to end up in heals at the grocery store. Her Response was yes. But quickly compared dating to horse shopping. You can’t base horses off cute faces and good videos online. You have to go sit in the saddle and try a ton of them out before you buy, because its a long term investment.
At the store I ran into a store worker who I see all the time. He told me I looked nice, compared to my typical barn clothes and straw in my hair. Told him about the Mickey Mouse sticker. His advice? Delete Match and get Tinder.
He Was Right
I deleted Match, although it still took me a few weeks to download Tinder. Let’s face it, I am not ready to be Mrs. Engineer Mickey Mouse Lover. I’m not ready to be Mrs. Anyone. What I am now is Ms. Single Horse Lady Who Rocks Straw in Her Hair, and that’s a name I think I can rock forever. Maybe the right horse, I mean man, will come along, but for I am ok with a name that’s all my own.
Now home at 9:30, with no Match and no Tinder, and no other dating apps, I cracked open a bottle of wine, texted a few of my girlfriends and had some good laughs.
So that is the story of my first date post-divorce. The Engineer Mickey Mouse Lover Coors Light Drinking guy on the search for his next baby momma. I will always think of him fondly as Mr. Mickey Mouse.
He texted me the next day. I apologized and thanked him for helping me realize I wasn’t really ready for dating, but offer to still hang out, we do have kids close to the same age, and you can never have to many friends. Then he ghosted me. Jerk.