1. Etta Lofthouse-Burton

    Love the honesty in this!! Take the name that give you the most pride in writing down and attaching to yourself again. Names are just labels but they are what people know you by so make sure it gives you pride!!

  2. Amy Myers

    I just saw this today. I’m familiar with the dilemma in a different way. My ex-wife took her maiden name back so fast my head was spinning. Then she changed it again to her grandparents’ last name without telling me (not that she was obligated to tell me). At first I felt offended, as if she was finding more ways to kick me while I was down. In reality, I was just over emotional because I was still spinning because I had no answers from her regarding why she wanted a divorce. After a couple months I was completely relieved that she dropped my last name. I realized how unhealthy it was to be connected even by name. I saw your comment above about changing back to MPL as a New Years gift to you. I fully support that choice. If it feels true and grounding to you, it’s right. 💚 As for your sweet, sweet daughter, have you ever considered hyphenating? I don’t know if that is something that you’ve thought of, or would even want, but just tossing it out there as an idea. Not sure what ex-K would think. And the farm…the farm will end up with a very meaningful name. Sometime. Just try not to rush it, like the dating. 😋 Keep a notebook somewhere to write down words that sound intriguing but don’t analyze until you have lots of words. Patience, focus, persevere, connect, precision, etc, etc. You’re creative, it will come in time.
    Last but not least, my divorce took almost a year. By the time I opened the email from my lawyer in early February 2015 with a scan of my divorce certificate, I thought I was doing a little better. But picking up the real deal final divorce decree and knowing it’s all finished is just…different. It was hard. My crying started up all over again. Maybe until that point I thought it would somehow change? I don’t know. Disbelief is an adequate description. Keep hanging in there. I’m here if you want to talk. If you don’t want to talk about that stuff, we should catch up any way!
    Miss you and love you!!

    • RBF1427

      Miss Amy I miss you so much! We have so much to catch up on. The name of the farm will change eventually. And if it doesn’t, atleast Kasey will still share the name… and the farm is for her anyway, so it fits.
      I agree with you about the divorce. I wanted that piece of paper so bad… but not that I have it… It just doesn’t seem real. Like a bad nightmare I might wake up from some day.
      I’m struggling, but I truly am happier.
      Can’t wait to get together!

      • Amy Myers

        Meghan! All the name considerations make sense, and honestly, as long as your gut instinct tells you that your decision feels right and brings you peace, that’s what counts. Always trust yourself. 😊

        Your description of anticipating and then receiving the final divorce decree/certificate is even better than my attempt to describe what it was like for me. It’s so hard and may come in waves. I’m here for you. Remember your surprise chicken coop tomatoes. Freeing oneself from the knots upon knots of emotional entanglement is a challenge. And each day is a new day. You got this. Look forward to new & old traditions (I never knew the story about your Dad bellowing “Someone’s been here!” as the signal to come downstairs on Christmas. I can totally envision that scenario.) Make the choices you want for your family. No guilt or shame. You are a rockstar!!

        Love you and miss you, my friend!
        PS – Happy New Year! (Toast with some ginger ale? Pedialyte? Hope you’re feeling better soon.)

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