The Divorce is Final
The divorce is final. The divorce is final. The divorce is final. My divorce is final. I’m no longer married. Sorry. I feel like even though I keep saying it, and keep telling people it still isn’t real. We separated in March, so its been 9 months, and to be honest our marriage was over months before that, maybe even years, but it still feels weird. There is a part of me that wakes up in the morning and still expects him to be there next to me. Like this is all a really vivid dream. I’ll have my wedding ring on, we will still live in our house in a neighborhood, and our daughter won’t even be thought of yet. But my divorce is final. I am now faced with the difficult decision of what to do with my name.
What is a name? To be honest I’m not really sure anymore. The dictionary defines Name as ‘a word or set of words by which a person, animal or place is known, addressed, or referred too’. Ok, well that makes sense, right? I feel like a name can also be a label. It can define a group of people you belong too, a job you do, or the person you are. I have many names; Mom, Aunt, Daughter, Grand Daughter, Friend, Girlfriend, Ex-Wife, Ex-Girlfriend, Single Mom, Trainer, Barn Owner, Barn Manager, Farmer, Eventer, Crazy Eventer, Physician’s Assistant, Horse Lover, Small Business Owner, Kind, Animal Lover, Hard Worker. All these names or labels, are ones I want to keep. But my name, my legal name that I use to label myself, Meghan Logue Bell, I’m not sure about this one.
What’s In a Name?
Your name, or your label is something you should be proud of. Something you can’t wait to tell people, and something you want other people to call you. To be honest I never really felt welcome as a Bell. Yes, I loved my now ex-husband, and a part of me will always love him, but something about his family never really made me feel like I was one of them. Maybe that was my fault, or maybe I was picking up on the fact that we never really should have been married to begin with. Meghan Logue Bell, just never seemed right. Despite this, I took the name, loved the name, even added it to my farm name! Red Bell Farms. I’m not sure what I am doing with my last name, but the name of the farm will need to be changed eventually. My Divorce is Final Farm? No. No teenage girl will want to ride there, my lesson program doesn’t need that kind of hit. No Name Farm? No. My farm is something I am very proud of, and I need a new name that will reflect that. Patience is not something I have a lot of, but I will do my best to wait to change the name of the farm. I have a feeling that something is going to happen to inspire a new name that really means something. A name I can take and keep forever.
Would You Change Your Name?
I have tossed around the idea of changing back to my maiden name. My divorce is final. Sorry, I’ll stop that eventually. People have brought up that if I do that I will no longer share a name with my daughter. It’s 2017, a lot of people are getting divorced and even remarried, so does that really matter? Meghan Patricia Logue. See that name was something I was proud of, and something I would be proud to take back. The Logue’s. Now they are an amazing group of people. Ok I might be biased, because another one of my labels is Family Member, and even Logue For Life. If I changed back to Logue I guess I would take Patricia as my middle name. I would then at least share a middle name with my daughter.
Patience… Difficult but Necessary
My lawyer told me the process is simple. She would take care of all of it for me and I would magically go back to being a Logue. Not that I ever stopped, but on paper, I would be a Logue again. But is that what I want? I don’t know. Maybe, just like with the farm name, something will happen and I will know when it’s time to change my name again. Whether it is something different, or back to my maiden name. Either way, I am happy with the labels I have. I earned all of them, the good and the bad. The good labels I cherish, the bad… well I like to think I learned something from those. And I hope to continue to learn from them. So the next time I change my name, Meghan Logue Bell to Meghan Something Else, or the next time I change the name of My Divorce Is Final Farm (last time I promise!) the change will be permanent. Labels can come and go, but a name you are proud of can last forever.
What do you think? Drop a comment and let me know your opinion on name change after divorce.
As always, thank you for reading. Happy riding!